It has been a hectic day, not literally, but in my mind. So many of them, thoughts, crossing my mind; that it is difficult to keep tabs of them. To get some back when I want to think further. But still I’m somehow not agitated. Probably this is what they call the calm before the storm, for a huge storm seems to be forming at the bottom of my heart. It’s just that some things started crossing my mind too often and as everybody know I think a lot.
Actually I think a lot about things that don’t much matter to others. I dream a lot about things which involves others also. I just travel into this fairy world of mine where everything seems rosy and happy. But more often I’m thrown back, headfirst, to reality. It’s usually late by the time I realize what a waste it was to have dreamt about something which was never meant to be. And I still don’t learn. Fairy dreams are addictive that way.
Had I said that I’m kinda stupid? No? Now I do. I’m very stupid in many ways. In imagining that everything will turn out as I expected, that things will start looking good. The eternal optimist that I am. Duh! I’ve realized that I am this silly stupid girl who keeps trying to find silver lining in each and every cloud she sees. It might not be wrong, but it is definitely not right for my own health. The result, as usual, not being very sweet. One of those kinds happened last night and again I cried my heart out over broken dreams. Now I’m kinda used to it. Did anyone know we can also talk very well even with tears streaming outta our eyes? Very well in the sense, with your voice steady and confident. Now you do.
Only yay moment was Federer’s Freanch Open win and seeing Hrithik in IIFA awards (though the ceremony s****d). Okay that’s two yay moments then. Good enough for a day, eh?
Now, if only I could wash-down the hurt and celebrate Fed’s win with a drink.
I think I can, so cheers to all you guys.
*clink*
I enjoyed your post. I actually just wrote something very similar yesterday. I totally understand where you are coming from here : )
Looks like an ‘Alice in wonderland’ in the making.
Me: Really!
now thats what cheers me up!
… and hello! nothing wrong in seeing the silver line!
Me: Good your cheered up. Now I want to see a cheery post too
Correction: Federer won the Wimbledon most recently. French open was a couple of months ago…
And it’s ok to be all dreamy, just not alright to get too carried away. I think you can make the conscious decision of not doing so and things will be ok.
All I can say is count your blessings. I don’t know the real reason why you cried or anything… But there IS always a silver lining to EVERY cloud. And be the optimist you are and you’ll do well for yourself.
Me: Thanks for the correction Niv. One can dream but when they break, it hurts. Probably have to grow some toughness to deal with that